"Now let me bring you up to speed...we know nothing! You are now up to speed." Inspector Clouseau, The Pink Panther 2

My ex-fed friend (as in federal agent, not to be confused with Fed-ex) responded to my plea for help with a long list of professional recommendations, a sign that he still thrives on the adrenaline rush of investigation or perhaps a sign that he has way too much time on his hands. Either way, I welcomed his ideas even though the first of which was to start all over again since my quest "hasn't been all that successful." Ouch! My instructions as per my Supervisory Special Agent or SSA (could his self-appointed title whose acronym when held up to a mirror, be designed to form a certain message for me?) are as follows:

1-Make copies of Hubert's work to take out in the field ("you never want to take evidence out of the evidence locker.") Previously accomplished.

2-Scan his works in e-mailable format. Previously accomplished.

3-Take all leads acquired through the years - responses from museums, galleries, people, etc. - and record results in a newly created Hubert file. Good idea, info now recorded on index cards

4-Never assume anything. Hubert may be a first name, last name, nickname or pseudonym. Point well taken.

5-E-mail Hubert's work to library research desks, art museums, and galleries in major cities. Previously accomplished and ongoing.

6-Canvas local galleries, museums, antique shops, print shops, etc. with etching copies and leave a business card ("I've had countless investigations where someone who swore they knew nothing, all of a sudden have their memory jogged three days later and call the number off my business card with very good info.") Business card is a very interesting idea, however, the thought of personally engaging strangers leaves me frozen with fear considering I'm always the one at a social gathering sitting in a dark corner feigning fascination with the ice cubes in my drink.

7-Expand my search and branch out to France and Belgium. Hello? I haven't been awarded an international fellowship, my unemployed status barely takes me to the local supermarket.

8-Become a cold, hard investigator. Lose the passion for your subject. Too late, I'm already emotionally involved with my etchings.

9-Set a goal of closing this case one year from now to avoid a "career case", a pejorative term for an agent that sits on a case for years. Sage advice but I somehow suspect that I'll be wiping the drool off my Chasing Hubert business cards from my wheelchair in the nursing home.

10- Have fun and good luck! 

Looks like I'm going to need a lot of luck. Feeling a bit like the bumbling Inspector Clouseau, my Chasing Hubert business cards in hand, I'm off to give it my best shot. I guess everyone has a dream, some people dream of fame or fortune, some dream of winning an Oscar or receiving an Olympic gold medal. Mine just happens to be discovering the identity of an etcher....... 

Mission Impossible

A bit of Hubert trivia for the week: Hubert is the patron saint for hunters. Apparently, Saint Hubert (interestingly, born in France and died in Belgium) devoted most of his time to the chase which was his chief passion. An ironic twist of fate considering that I am hunting the hunter. Or at least I am hunting the artist using this eponym. One can only imagine what Hubert would have to say about this blog - blogger on a wild-goose chase, blogger chasing rainbows... okay, I'm guilty of circumlocution and now it's time to cut to the chase.

Last week I received a negative - no Hubert here - response from the D'Orsay. No sign of Hubert in Belgium either. My disappointment, however, was tempered by the good-humored and pleasant manner in which the news was delivered. The museums were kind enough to provide names and links to refer me to additional museums and libraries that might aid in furthering my search. To date, the institution that holds the most promise is the New York Public Library who, although also had no Hubert in their database, delightfully accepted my out-of-character bold and rather persistent proposal to examine my Hubert etchings. And so, the chase for Hubert advances in baby steps rather than giant leaps but the hunt is on, at any rate.

At an impasse until the NY Public Library's print expert can examine my prints, I decided to take a cue from a popular game show and phone a friend. I placed a call to my ex-federal agent friend, otherwise referred to by some in my family as Uncle Jack Bauer in a nod to the TV show "24", (although I feel my objective in this case more closely resembles the show "Mission Impossible") for a quick tutorial on how to track a missing artist. Certainly a person who trailed gang members, terrorists, missing persons, deadbeat dads, and criminals of varying degrees for a living, would have little problem locating a mysterious foreign etcher.  I compiled a dossier of pertinent information I've gathered over the years on a post-it, included a message for him that began "Your mission should you decide to accept it...", and anxiously await his investigative strategy. I just hope and pray that this blog will not self-destruct in 5 seconds....

Am I Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

It might seem a paradox but Hubert's rich macaroni and cheese put me in an exceptionally buoyant mood. After partaking in my good luck New Year's Eve meal, 2010 appeared promising from both a Chasing Hubert and a personal perspective but before long my hopes were dashed. In the same way a bloodhound sniffs out criminals, challenges seem to dog me. Awarded a scholarship by a local college for a course in an area of study I know nothing about nor have had any experience in, I nevertheless embraced this latest challenge because after all, if Madonna can reinvent herself why can't I? Unfortunately, a rock star future is not in my stars because the New Year's ball barely touched down when I received a call apprising me that the college dropped the ball on funding for the scholarship.

The second bomb of 2010 was dropped when an email from the researcher at le Musee d'Orsay lit up my computer screen informing me that after examination of the etching copy I sent, it was determined that according to the style of clothes and the overall style of the print the artist is too recent for the musee which covers the time period between 1820 and 1870, and that Hubert's etching probably dates after WW1.  She ends her note "as the subject is very common, I would not like to give you too much hope." This researcher was the first person to give my Hubert search recognition and responded quickly and so pleasantly to all of my queries that I was really rooting for her to be the one to find Hubert. Reeling from these two major setbacks in 2010 (and we're only into the first week of the New Year), compounded by fatigue from trying to burn off the excess calories from the French mac and cheese, I succumbed to a dark mood threatening to dominate the lingering dog days of winter.

While babysitting for my neighbor's three young sons I found myself relating my Hubert story to ten year- old Nathaniel, having thoroughly exhausted every adult I know. He listened rapt with attention as I plied him with freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. An hour later, after polishing off the second batch of cookies, he turned to me glassy-eyed and asked "What's a blog?" When I got to the part where I whined about being stumped as to where to go next for information he suggested the library. I answered smugly that I had and he matter-of-factly replied "What about the BIG library?' A bell went off and I immediately contacted the NY Public Library where the art and architecture department quickly responded and forwarded my email to their print department for further evaluation.

I predict a lucrative future career in law for Nathaniel - or maybe psychiatry? Thanks to my fifth-grade friend, hope was restored and I anxiously await - dare I say - some good news......

Bonne Année and Bon Appetit!

Not one for making (or keeping) New Year's resolutions, instead I poured all of my 2010 good intentions into hunting Hubert. I fired off a follow-up email to the Museé d'Orsay in Paris and one to le Musée de Montmartre as well. I researched art museums in Belgium and sent a note to the Groeninge Museum in Bruges. While surfing the web I located an interesting article on how to be a print detective and contacted the author for some advice. I followed up with the Appraiser's Association of America and, as I predicted, it's going to cost me. But I now have the name of an etching expert who can appraise my etchings once my proverbial ship comes in - and I'm hoping it pulls into port soon because I'm precariously hanging on to a life preserver by my fingertips. Although frankly, I care not if my Huberts are deemed to be valuable because Hubert's art brings me joy and isn't that what art is all about?

In many cultures it is considered good luck to start off the New Year by indulging in certain foods. Germans and Swedes eat herring for good fortune. Greeks bake a cake with a coin inside. The Chinese prepare dumplings. Italians eat lentils for luck. To enhance my chance for finding Hubert in 2010 I decided to jump on the New Year's food wagon and eat for luck. I vividly recall a philosophical carpool discussion on one particularly long commute in which it was theorized that everything in life boils down to money, sex, and food. Under my current circumstances money is obviously out of the picture. Sex is out as well since I attempt to keep this blog PG-rated. That leaves food as the common denominator. As American chef, James Beard once said "Food is our common ground, a universal experience."

To ring in the New Year on an auspicious note I created my own symbolism for New Year's Day food.  Perhaps my special meal will set the scene to bring more favorable results for finding Hubert this year. I adapted my sought-after but never-divulged macaroni and cheese recipe to create a French version in honor of Hubert. Sometimes my culinary creativity succeeds but more often than not, whenever I deviate from the tried and true, my inventiveness fails miserably. Therefore, I'm taking it as an unequivocal sign of good luck that my French macaroni and cheese was a roaring success. So indulge in a little French mac and cheese (recipe below), prepare a salad of greens, mandarin oranges, caramelized walnuts and vinaigrette and raise a glass of  Chardonnay to toast Chasing and Finding Hubert in 2010!....

Hubert's French Macaroni and Cheese

16 oz. of penne rigate or other tubular pasta
1 large clove of garlic cut in half
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1 large leek sliced thin
12 oz. Cantal cheese shredded, reserve 1/2 cup for topping
*if Cantal cheese is not available substitute Gruyere
1 cup creme fraiche
1 tsp Dijon mustard
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup dried seasoned breadcrumbs

Preheat oven to 350˚. In ovenproof baking dish rub the bottom and sides with one garlic half. Then brush with 1 tbsp. melted butter. Cook and drain pasta. Saute leeks in 1 tbsp butter about 5 minutes till soft. Crush second garlic half in garlic press and add to leeks while cooking. In large mixing bowl combine pasta, leeks, Cantal cheese, creme fraiche, dijon mustard, salt and pepper. Mix well, pour into baking dish. Top with reserved cheese. Melt remaining tbsp. butter, combine with breadcrumbs and sprinkle on top. Bake till hot, bubbly, and golden.

Happy Hubert Holidays

Nothing new to report on the Chasing Hubert search this week. I've been waiting at my mailbox so often lately to see if I have received any responses to my snail mail inquiries that our mailman has begun handing me the mail with a sly smirk intimating that perhaps my sudden interest in the U.S. postal service is likely due to a penchant for a man in uniform, as in THIS man in letter carrier uniform.

The mail was handed over yesterday and, unfortunately, all I received was a wink from said letter carrier and an avalanche of Christmas cards to which I have yet to respond. I love receiving cards but hate giving them. The antithesis of the Christmas spirit, I know, but the entire Christmas card tradition of exchanging greetings throws me into turmoil. First off you have to select from thousands of card choices - do I go for humor or tradition, do I opt for a religious message or a generic holiday greeting? Then there is the obligatory personal message to compose, addressing, licking and sealing the envelopes, not to mention the expense of mailing a sackful of cards at 44 cents per card.

For me, far and away the worst, most dreaded and despised part of the entire Christmas card debacle is receiving THE LETTER! You know, that folded, typewritten insert in the card that details every highlight of the sender's apparently charmed life over the last year. Even worse are the ones set to rhyme - "Vacationed in Switzerland, Daughter's accepted to Yale, Just bought a vintage Ferrari, This summer family hiked the entire Appalachian Trail...." Just once I would love to receive a letter that tells it like it really is. And so, here is my Christmas letter for those of us whose lives are not a scene out of Currier and Ives:

T'is the week before Christmas
And all through my house
Running around crazed
Too many family fires to douse

Two middle daughters are feuding
Husband's business is slow
I'm still out of work
Holiday spirits are running low

Got humongous bill from Cobra
Dishwasher's busted, it won't dry
Still haven't found Hubert
I've developed PVD in my right eye

Suburban's transmission is broken
Volvo's radiator is shot
Tried to decorate the front yard
But picket fence has wood rot

Out taxes have doubled
College tuition's a month overdue
Still haven't found Hubert
Daughter's roommate has swine flu

But I'm not complaining
On a positive note
Daughter removed her nose piercing
Visa's giving us one more month to float

Our neighbors gave us their old clunker
So kids won't have to hitch
You gotta love this time of year
Yup, holidays can be a bitch

But I still have my Hubert
A bright spot in my malaise
And my dream I'll discover his/her identity
One of these Chasing Hubert days

No, I haven't found Hubert yet
No idea if I will or when
But it's Chasing Hubert that'll keep me going
Through 2010

To all Chasing Hubert readers
My thanks for reading what I write
A Merry Christmas to all of you
And to all a good night!

Where's Hubert?

Chasing Hubert is oddly reminiscent of the children's book "Where's Waldo" that was so popular in the '80s and spawned a host of "Where's Waldo" commercial franchises. Personally, I found the whole "Where's Waldo" theme frustrating rather than amusing. Staring at a page crammed with hundreds of tiny images in order to find the red and white striped ski-capped Waldo was not my idea of entertainment.  But it did give me an idea to mark the locations of Hubert's etchings on a map.

Unskilled in cartography, I enlisted the aid of my husband who directed me to GoogleEarth where I proceeded to spend hours marking all the etching sights with an icon of a bereted and goateed French artist - I spare no effort for my Hubert. However, what my husband neglected to tell me before I dedicated chunks of time that could have been spent on holiday preparations was that because of size constrictions it is impossible to post a map with all of those details in a space barely larger than a postage stamp.  Instead of leading me to Hubert the intended map almost led to divorce court. Confronted with less than ideal conditions and map-making skills, the above map is the best that I could do. It is limited in that it shows only Hubert's Paris subjects.  There are additional etchings set in other areas of France as well as a number in Belgium.  I'm afraid the Belgium map will have to wait until another time or another husband.

Other than flying to France and tacking wanted posters on lampposts in these locations I'm not entirely sure in what way this map will help my search - it sure sounded like a good idea at the time though. And it was an interesting project to distract me from the fact that I have not done any Christmas shopping to date nor is there one iota of holiday cheer in my house. Instead, my home currently resembles an FBI interrogation office with Hubert tracking maps hung by the chimney with care rather than the requisite stockings.

To add to my December distress, I received a not-too-encouraging response from Sothebys stating "Thank you very much for contacting Sotheby's regarding your print. Our experts have reviewed the work and were unable to determine the artist or authenticity of the work. If you wish to pursue the matter further we would suggest contacting the Appraisers Association of America." Yes, I do wish to pursue the matter and will attempt to give the AA of A call, however, I'm anticipating that there will be a fee associated with an appraisal and I don't believe spending my meager Christmas budget on a Hubert appraisal will endear me to my loved ones. Then again, I could tap into a new commercial enterprise of my own called "Where's Hubert"...

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to." Miracle on 34th Street

I turn into Scrooge this time of year. To combat my Santa Claus anxiety, otherwise known as Claustrophobia, my daughter broke out that timeless movie classic "Miracle on 34th Street", guaranteed to melt the hearts of all but the most hardened Scrooges.  Character Fred Gailey's comment to cynical parade director Doris Walker, "Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to" struck a chord with me. I couldn't help but draw a comparison between the movie and my search for Hubert. I know it's somewhat of a stretch but in my Hubert addled brain this line resonates with me because I do have faith that somehow I will find Hubert even though the odds are stacked against me.

I did receive an early Christmas gift that lifted my poor holiday spirit considerably - a response to my email inquiry from the Musee d'Orsay! Their research department found 4 painters named Hubert in their files and requested photos of some of my Hubert etchings to see if they match up.  I immediately sent off some examples for them to examine and am anxiously awaiting their reply. I might, however, have to wait a bit longer. As mentioned previously, I appear to have a lifelong history of poor timing. Apparently this problem of mine is chronic since I just heard the news that a strike by French museum workers to protest plans by the culture ministry to cut the civil service by replacing only half of all retiring employees has shut down many of Paris's museums and monuments. And yes, the Musee d'Orsay is one of the museums affected. Hopefully, for all involved, the issues will be resolved soon.

Meantime, I've been learning about the various steps involved in creating an etching. The book 'Making an Etching' by Levon West describes the procedure as "etching is a process whereby a polished metal plate is covered with an acid-resistant ground, into which a design is drawn with a needle that exposes, but does not penetrate, the metal. Acid is the introduced to bite the design into the plate. Finally, ink is forced into the bitten lines which, under pressure, will yield an impression on paper. The print so produced is known as an etching." Wow. I have even more respect and admiration for Hubert. My patience runs thin when I have to wait at a long traffic light - I cannot begin to imagine how time consuming producing all of those intricate etchings must have been for Hubert.

According to West, the etcher "is undertaking a task that will give him no rest. Etching is not merely the act of putting down an idea on copper instead of wood or canvas.  Nor is it as simple as making a drawing on paper. The art of etching is the successful coordination of several qualities, some of which are not classed as 'artistic'. A good etcher must be, above everything else, a good craftsman." It sounds like there is an awful lot going on in order to create an etching. For someone who cannot pat their head and rub their stomach at the same time I am extremely in awe of this immensely talented, almost mythical artist named Hubert. And extremely perplexed as to how and why he is still a mystery. But, in the words of  Kris Kringle from "Miracle on 34th Street", "... not only IS there such a person, but here I am to prove it."  I believe, I believe, I believe....